Anxiety and fangirling. Ain’t that my life though.
I had a proper full blown panic attack yesterday. Haven’t had such an intense attack in a while. Even though it felt like hell I’m actually quite happy for having one can you believe it?
I’ve been feeling generalized anxiety a lot lately. And now after an attack I feel like I let the anxiety out of my system all at once if that makes any sense? At least for the time being I’m feeling better. Now trying to enjoy it. xD
Now to the fun stuff!
Fullmetal Alchemist live action trailer omg
Pure fangirling from this point onwards.
I was super scared at first about the whole live action thing. The teasers looked cool though and got me excited.
THEN THIS TRAILER HAPPENED HOLY CRAP.
I loved everything about this.
Okay let me try
and fail to pull myself together.
The scenery is gorgeous. Stunning. Ed is super cute. Alphonse looks amazing. The feeeeeels about their mom
sob. Brother feeeeeels. Loved the music btw too.
Winry’s not blonde. I kinda like it surprisingly.
Her shouting at Ed and Hughes smiling behind them asghjklljö.
Then my ultimate faves and otp4lyfe ROY MUSTANG and RIZA HAWKEYE. *insert a lot of happy cursing* I was most anxious (and scared) too see them. They looked great omg. Roy’s badass “Hagane no” omg and the FLAMES holy fudge.
Hughes is just all about the feeeels omg fandom will not be okay.
THE EFFING PICTURE ON THE GROUND OMG COULD YOU NOT.
The homunculi looked so creepy I loved it. Especially Lust and Gluttony.
I’m off now
to fangirl and to think about how the heck I’m going to see this movie in Finland. >__>
Wish you have a great day!
I’m writing this on my iPad because I’m at my parents’ and of course I don’t have my keyboard with me. So let’s see how long my patience lasts when I can’t type properly.
Let’s do this.
I had the silliest panic attack today. Well it didn’t feel silly while I was experiencing it but it was definitely one of those attacks that when they’re over makes you look back and think why on earth was I panicking over THIS?!
Rewind to earlier today when I was about to leave to go visit my parents. I was also meant to go to the gym with my Grandma.
I was putting on my makeup when I suddenly discovered that the side of my nose was swollen.
Cue a panic attack.
Yes. Really. I started panicking over a slightly swollen nose.
Because I had no idea how I got it.
What is happening? Is my face going to start to swell too? What if I won’t be able to breathe? I don’t want to end up in hospital.
I didn’t go to the gym. I stayed at home.
(Until the evening when I was feeling better and came over at my parents’ place.)
And while I was also aware that I was “just” panicking and these were anxiety thoughts, I needed outside confirmation that I didn’t need to be hospitalized. I was on the phone with my Dad for an hour. And I also took beta blockers.
I’ve been doing very well recently so now I’m trying not to be too discouraged over this. I tend to mope over things too much.
I need to just view this as a day that anxiety got a bit of a hold over me but shit happens and I move forward.
PS The swelling started to go away slowly during the day. Most likely it was an internal pimple or an allergic reaction or something.
Or I’d accidentally punched myself.
I had a blank page open (like I often do…) and was about to write a post complaining about anything and everything. Hashtag hormonal rage.
Then the second teaser trailer for Fullmetal Alchemist dropped. Fangirl mode: on.
Excuse me as I die a bit.
Haha nothing new here.
I found out (thanks to a Facebook post of my cousin’s son) today that frickin Bastille is coming to Finland next March.
Read More »
Since it’s a national holiday in Finland (Independence Day ♥) I decided to come here to dig this blog up again from the coat of dust. Yay.
Basically I just have too many feels and have to get them out somehow. Story of my life.
So. I’ve mentioned in passing before that I got addicted to kpop… And listening to the music is like only a small part of it. Damn.
Mnet Asian Music Awards aka MAMA 2016 was held in Hong Kong last Friday. And I watched the whole thing last weekend. (With my Mom haha she’s such a fangirl even though she didn’t have a clue what was happening.)
Read More »
Follow my blog with Bloglovin
Update: Everything hurts.
Muscle-wise, that is. (
Ok. Maybe a bit feels-wise as well..)
I was at the gym with my Grandma yesterday. (We go once a week. ♥) I pushed myself extra hard and was quite proud of myself. (I figured out that working out while listening to kpop gives me the push I need…
More about kpop below because of reasons.)
Well. I hadn’t taken into consideration that today was the day to “make the yard of my building ready for winter”. Which means raking leaves. Lots. Of. Raking. Involved.
Don’t get me wrong, I liked it. My neighbours are lovely. We had so many laughs. There was some sausage grilling and refreshments.
I totally ate two sausages even though I don’t usually eat meat. I feel so bad. The weather was absolutely freezing. The sauna after was heaven.
But now I have a nasty cough. Sore throat. (Super unfair if I’m sick tomorrow, it’s my day off!)
And my arms and shoulders and back are killing me.
(Also TMI I got my period so: fun times.)
*aggressively making tea*
So… Kpop. Oh. My. God. My friend got me into kpop.
I hate her so much for it Joke I love her really lols ♥.
I’m always checking out things recommended to me but honestly? I wouldn’t have thought I’d like kpop this much. Damn. I should probably make a whole rant post about it but I’m still in denial about obsessing over it so maybe later. haha
Here’s to hoping I’ll feel better tomorrow!
currently listening: INFINITE – One Day
currently reading: Chainfire by Terrry Goodkind (The Sword of Truth series #9)
I’m going to see how writing a blog post on my phone works. I just keep wanting to write but always find some excuse not to go sit by the computer.
Even though I’m always on my computer? No excuses now!
(Btw am I able to strike out text when I use the phone app? Please tell me I can.
Oh got it! Code’s the only way, is it?)
I have no idea what this post is going to be about so you can expect anything and everything. And probably nothing. Yay.
Speaking about writing: I’ve been thinking about NaNoWriMo actually. Participated for the first time last year and failed miserably haha.
I wasn’t going to do it this year but now I kind of feel like changing my mind.
Even though I can’t even keep up with this blog.. *insert nervous laughter*
Just call me miss Epic Fail.
P.S Is it weird that I’m feeling paranoid about taking a shower at midnight?! I feel like the whole building can hear. And know that they can’t. Hashtag anxiety problems.
I’ve just recently finished both The Cursed Child and the illustrated version of Philosopher’s Stone so I just thought to stick them both in the same post.
Read More »
I randomly subscribed to Lindsey Stirling’s YouTube channel after stumbling upon her Lord of the Rings medley. She is, according to our dear friend Wikipedia: “a violinist, dancer, performance artist, singer and composer.”
She also has gorgeous hair.
I first watched The Arena at the end of June when it came out. I liked it, liked the video, then pretty much forgot about it.
Until a month later when I suddenly started thinking about it? It was quite random and weird. I was about to meet with a friend and I thought that she would really like the video.
So I went on YouTube to find it and BAM! It just hit me. Now I’m just listening to it on repeat. (Thank heavens it’s on Spotify!) Today it was my jam at the gym.
Just wanted to share this little obsession of mine. If you listen or watch it tell me what’d you think!
Feast your eyes and ears:
Let me paint you a picture: last day of holiday, work tomorrow. It’s 10PM. I’m coming home with my cats and dog. They want food. I give it to them. There are a million things to do, like unpack and sort things out for tomorrow for a start.
So what am I doing now? Writing a blog post. Obviously.
Also watching YouTube. As if I’m been too busy doing awesome epic things.
Well that’s me. Can’t make myself write when I have time but as soon as I should be doing something else: BOOM, got hit by that inspiration. *sigh*
Few words about my holiday: very relaxing low-key one. Met some friends, went to the movies, had Mom’s birthday (we went actually out to eat which I haven’t done in sooo long yay anxiety win!), had Grandma’s birthday as well and changed the order of my furniture at home.
I’m a bit nervous about going back to work. We are in a different daycare center in July and I always get anxious about “new” things. Also I’m on the 2PM to 10PM shift so most of the evening I will be with people I don’t know.
I will be okay. 🙂