Everything hurts

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Update: Everything hurts.


Muscle-wise, that is. (Ok. Maybe a bit feels-wise as well..)

I was at the gym with my Grandma yesterday. (We go once a week. ♥) I pushed myself extra hard and was quite proud of myself. (I figured out that working out while listening to kpop gives me the push I need… More about kpop below because of reasons.)

Well. I hadn’t taken into consideration that today was the day to “make the yard of my building ready for winter”.  Which means raking leaves. Lots. Of. Raking. Involved.

Don’t get me wrong, I liked it. My neighbours are lovely. We had so many laughs. There was some sausage grilling and refreshments. I totally ate two sausages even though I don’t usually eat meat. I feel so bad. The weather was absolutely freezing. The sauna after was heaven.

But now I have a nasty cough. Sore throat. (Super unfair if I’m sick tomorrow, it’s my day off!)

And my arms and shoulders and back are killing me.

(Also TMI I got my period so: fun times.)

*aggressively making tea*

So… Kpop. Oh. My. God. My friend got me into kpop. I hate her so much for it Joke I love her really lols ♥.

I’m always checking out things recommended to me but honestly? I wouldn’t have thought I’d like kpop this much. Damn. I should probably make a whole rant post about it but I’m still in denial about obsessing over it so maybe later. haha

Here’s to hoping I’ll feel better tomorrow!

Love, Satu

currently listening: INFINITE – One Day
currently reading: Chainfire by Terrry Goodkind (The Sword of Truth series #9)


Miss Epic Fail

I’m going to see how writing a blog post on my phone works. I just keep wanting to write but always find some excuse not to go sit by the computer. Even though I’m always on my computer? No excuses now!

(Btw am I able to strike out text when I use the phone app? Please tell me I can. Oh got it! Code’s the only way, is it?)

I have no idea what this post is going to be about so you can expect anything and everything. And probably nothing. Yay.

Speaking about writing: I’ve been thinking about NaNoWriMo actually. Participated for the first time last year and failed miserably haha. 

I wasn’t going to do it this year but now I kind of feel like changing my mind.  Even though I can’t even keep up with this blog.. *insert nervous laughter* 

Just call me miss Epic Fail.

P.S Is it weird that I’m feeling paranoid about taking a shower at midnight?! I feel like the whole building can hear. And know that they can’t. Hashtag anxiety problems. 

Back to Work

Let me paint you a picture: last day of holiday, work tomorrow. It’s 10PM. I’m coming home with my cats and dog. They want food. I give it to them. There are a million things to do, like unpack and sort things out for tomorrow for a start.

So what am I doing now? Writing a blog post. Obviously. Also watching YouTube. As if I’m been too busy doing awesome epic things.

Well that’s me. Can’t make myself write when I have time but as soon as I should be doing something else: BOOM, got hit by that inspiration. *sigh*

Few words about my holiday: very relaxing low-key one. Met some friends, went to the movies, had Mom’s birthday (we went actually out to eat which I haven’t done in sooo long yay anxiety win!), had Grandma’s birthday as well and changed the order of my furniture at home.

I’m a bit nervous about going back to work.  We are in a different daycare center in July and I always get anxious about “new” things. Also I’m on the 2PM to 10PM shift so most of the evening I will be with people I don’t know.

I will be okay. 🙂

Blog’s second coming

I’ve been so annoyed at myself for not keeping this blog up. I notice I often want to write and share but either I do something else (tv or youtube or you know even work) or try to write and nothing comes up.

So I did a little revamp, cleaned things out a little bit, got a new header and so on. Fresh start. Hope it’s not a fresh end..

When I was thinking about what to write about I kept picturing those fancy blog posts about outfits and interior design and parties and quality photographs and descriptions on prices and stuff.

And while I do enjoy that kind of posts to some extent (I’ve made that kind of posts myself) I realized that what I enjoy the most is these kind of rambly not-so-planned posts about everyday life.

Now I feel the I’m-gonna-write-from-the-heart word vomit coming. Will. Resist.

Anyway, hopefully I’ll be updating more frequently from now on. I’ve got only two more weeks of work until summer holidays! (I have NO idea what I’ll do! Stress!)



watching: The Tribe (oh my teenage heart!)

listening: Leave Me Breathless by University of Pennsylvania Shabbatones (The Corrs cover)

reading: Delirium by Lauren Oliver


Faaaacts about me – Versatile Blogger Award

Getting Through Anxiety nominated me for a Versatile Blogger Award, thank you so much!


The Rules:

  1. Thank the person that nominated you and include a link to their blog.
  2. Nominate at least 15 blogs of your choice.
  3. Link your nominees and let them know of your nomination.
  4. Share 7 facts about yourself!


7 Facts About Me

This is actually difficult without given questions to answer!

1) I’m a huge, massive, giant The Lion King fan. Have been since the 90s. ♥ LoveLoveLove. Can You Feel The Tonight.

2) I love movie scores. (Also music from TV shows like Game of Thrones, you know, that kind of epic music.) Gives me chills. Three all-time faves: The Lion King (no surprise there) by Hans Zimmer, Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl by Klaus Badelt and Blood Diamond by James Newton Howard.

3) I work as a kindergarten teacher right now (yep, I’m a responsible adult taking care of my minions impressionable hopes of the future) BUT some day I would like to help people with anxiety (since I have panic disorder myself).

4) I do NOT like to cook. Which is super annoying. I would LIKE to like cooking. I don’t even bake. Boo. I’m the exact opposite of a person who finds cooking/baking relaxing. I get stressed AF when I do it.

5) My first ever fandom was (and is) Harry Potter. I was a huge fan since before the movies came out. I grew up with the books. They were my teenage years. I’m reading the illustrated version of The Philosopher’s Stone at the moment. Feels. I’m a Ravenclaw by the way. 

6) My second fandom was (and is) Fullmetal Alchemist. The manga, both animes, everything. It was a complete chance that I started to read and watch it. The 03 series started on Finnish TV and we watched it with my Mom (xD) just for the hell of it. Then I spotted the first issue of the manga (in Finnish) at the grocery store. I was doomed from the get go. Feels again.

7) I live with my rescue dog and two cats (Jaime, Luna & Artemis, respectively) in a small apartment in Southern Finland, Vantaa to be specific.

This was fun!

– Satu

april 1

I nominate kaylamariaxohayatlmaskeenstandingstrongwellness and kandicelisa if you want to do this!

Qs & As – The Sunshine Blogger Award

*insert rant about how long it’s been since I’ve blogged and feel bad and blah blah blah*

I got nominated for not only one but two Sunshine Blogger Awards! Getting Through Anxiety and Ginauche nominated me, thank you so much!


The Rules

  • Thank the person who nominated you in a blog post.
  • Answer the 11 questions set by the person who nominated you.
  • Nominate 11 blogs to receive the award and write them 11 new questions to answer


1.) If you had to dye your hair a “wild” color permanently, which would you choose and why? – Probably blue or blueish gray?

2.) What do you think is the most important quality for a person to have? – Wow a big one. (OMG the question not the answer!) Kindness.

3.) What’s your favorite kind of candy? CHOCOLATE

4.) What’s your favorite month of the year and why? – I don’t really have one I think. One of the Spring months like April or December because of Christmas.

5.) If you could change the ending to any movie or TV show, how would you change it? – Oh my gosh I would change practically EVERYTHING about the last season(s) of MERLIN. >_<

6.) Ocean view or garden view? – Ocean.

7.) Least favorite genre of music? – Metal. 

8.) What was the coolest experience you’ve ever had? – One of them has been rafting with my Mom.

9.) How old were you/what grade were you in, when you had your first crush? – I was 9 or 10!

10.) First pet? If you’ve never had one, what would you like your first one to be if you want one? – A Guineapig called Rusetti!

11.) If you had to change your name to something other than your own, what would you change it to? – Something easier to foreigners to pronounce (since Satu is a bit difficult).


I meant to nominate some people I’m following but I have a really bad headache right now and feel like throwing up (this screen is so bright ugh). I have to go lie down.

See you! ♥


3 Days 3 Quotes – The Lonely Wolf

Day 2! (I was nominated by Getting Through Anxiety! Day 1 here.)

I have to admit I hesitated to put this quote up. Because it’s from the Twilight series. Eclipse to be exact. Then I got annoyed with myself.

(I could write a whole essay about the love/hate-relationship I have with the series. Let’s just say I used to love the series in the beginning aka before the last two books and four movies.)


But I do love this quote. By Stephenie Meyer. (The pic is actually from an ooooold wallpaper I made back in the day. xD Oh, the nostalgia.)

Jacob was my favourite character. (Still is, I guess.) I loved Jake/Bells before there was Team Jacob or Team Edward. I’m going to stop now before I get into a rant about how I hate how Jake’s story ended.


3 Days 3 Quotes – Éowyn is my Hero

Exciting! I was nominated by Getting Through Anxiety for a 3 Days 3 Quotes challenge. Thank you! ♥

I happen to love quotes. Especially from music (lyrics) and books. (So of course when I’m doing something like this, every quote escapes my mind. Great. Well, it’s time to dig.)


  1. Thank the person who nominated you.
  2. Post a Quote for 3 consecutive days
  3. Nominate 3 bloggers each day

Éowyn 2

This is one of my favourite quotes. J.R.R. Tolkien. Beautifully written.

Éowyn is my hero and one of my favourite characters. I adore her. It’s kind of ridiculous how happy I am that  a character found happiness. But I am. Genuinely.

[I’m not going to nominate anybody because – sadly – I don’t really know enough blogs yet to nominate. Will fix this in the future for sure. *wink*]

I need sleep – not puppies

You know what I hate? Hate is a strong word but yeah. I hate two things:

1) not sleeping well

2) having anxiety-filled dreams so you’re already anxious when you wake up

I’ve been sleeping really restlessly lately. Hot. Cold. Sweating. Everything. Maybe it’s the full moon, PMS, stress, I don’t know. All of them.

Few nights ago I had a dream a giant wasp was chasing me. Woke up anxious.

Last night I was meant to go on an airplane. One of my biggest triggers. It was horrible. I was on the verge of a panic attack and when I woke up the anxiety continued.


This was also the morning when I was meant to sleep in. (I don’t start work until 1PM.) But I got a text from my neighbour that she’s been admitted to the hospital so I offered to take care of her puppy.

A puppy. That pees and poops everywhere.

I love her and of course I’m there to help in a heart beat.

But let’s just say I’m not in the best mood for two dogs (mine and hers) to run around trashing the place.

Especially when I have kids at work that are exactly the same.

Ok. Actually I feel a bit better now that I’ve gotten that off my chest.

Let’s do this.