Anxiety in my Mind – Buying Groceries

I went to the gym with my Grandma today. (We try to go every week. She’s 85.)

After the workout we went to buy groceries. And I felt panicky.

Because of exercising my heart rate was faster and adrenaline was pumping. Things that happen during a panic attack.

That’s why working out is a trigger for me sometimes. (It’s so irritating because exercising is actually good for the anxiety.)

So I felt really anxious at the store: I was walking restlessly and it was hard to concentrate. (My Grandma has mucular degeneration which means her eye sight is very poor. That’s why we go together so I can help.) I helped her choose apples all the while thinking if I would have to leave. 

I tried not to let my anxious mind consume me. I breathed. I changed my thinking from “What if I have to run out What if I have a panic attack What if I faint?!” To “If I need to I can go outside and have a breath of fresh air and then come back.

That did the trick. I was able to keep my thought prosess calm and realistic. And at the same time giving myself a way out without actually running away from the anxiety.

I didn’t have a panic attack. The anxiety went away and I was able to complete shopping. 

Win. 

Shopping me Softly – Grey, Yellow & Turquoise Decor for Home

(Previous Shopping Me Softly post.)

I have never really been interested in home decor before now. When I moved out of my childhood home when i was 21, I had the money to buy the essential stuff like furniture and kitchen utensils.

Then I started university. I didn’t work alongside school because of anxiety (I hardly was able to go through school) so I didn’t have the extra money (or energy really) to concentrate on home decor.

Now I’ve been working as a kindergarten teacher for two years (this is my third year). I’m able to save a bit of money despite starting to pay off my student debt.

As my life becomes a bit more stable (financially and mentally) I find myself interested in shopping and home decor:

  1. I now have the energy to focus outside myself (aka my flat).
  2. I can finally shop without feeling quilty since I’m making my own money.

Disclaimer: I’m actually very careful with money and spending. Always been. Since I was a kid. I think I get it from my Dad.

I’m rambling. Let’s get to the point!

In September I visited Kodin 1, a lovely department store that focuses mainly on home decor. And here’s what I got:

DSC_0001x
A tin container for tea! The colours fit right in to my kitchen.
DSC_0009x
Coasters! I have never in my life used coasters. Actually I’ve found them quite pointless. These were just too cute not to buy. Ok and they were cheap.
DSC_0013x
This tiny little plate is for your teabag. It is seriously small, just 9,5 centimeters (3,7 inches) wide.
DSC_0028x
A little print that just hit home. Anxiety-wise and colour-wise. Love.
DSC_0015x
This is my favourite purchase! Wooden squares which tell the date. I spotted them right away but left them thinking I would never keep them up to date. So what’s the point. But I kept going back to them. And I’m happy to tell you that I actually do keep them up to date and really use them when I need to tell the date. (They’re placed on a shelf above my desk.)

 

Shopping me Softly – Tarjoustalo

I’ve just now started to enjoy shopping again. (When I was a student and my anxiety was really bad, I practically had no money and didn’t really shop anything for years.) It took surprisingly long after graduating and getting a job and getting a regular paycheck to get to that mindset that I actually can buy some things now.

Anyway, I went to Tarjoustalo with my Mom last week. (Tarjoustalo translates to Bargain House which actually sounds pretty good in English. It’s kind of Finland’s version of Primark. Or a smaller scale Walmart.)

1
2 sofa pillows, a t-shirt, calendar, 2 hair brushes and rechargeable batteries
2
I was in a serious need of a new hairbrush. (I’ve had my old one for like over a decade. Yikes.) This one felt nice (that sounds weird..). Got a smaller one for my handbag as well.
3
(I couldn’t get the camera to focus for the life of me.) This shirt feels so good!
4
Here’s a close-up. Very cute!
5
The new pillows make the little sofa look much more inviting. ♥