Anxiety in my Mind – Buying Groceries

I went to the gym with my Grandma today. (We try to go every week. She’s 85.)

After the workout we went to buy groceries. And I felt panicky.

Because of exercising my heart rate was faster and adrenaline was pumping. Things that happen during a panic attack.

That’s why working out is a trigger for me sometimes. (It’s so irritating because exercising is actually good for the anxiety.)

So I felt really anxious at the store: I was walking restlessly and it was hard to concentrate. (My Grandma has mucular degeneration which means her eye sight is very poor. That’s why we go together so I can help.) I helped her choose apples all the while thinking if I would have to leave. 

I tried not to let my anxious mind consume me. I breathed. I changed my thinking from “What if I have to run out What if I have a panic attack What if I faint?!” To “If I need to I can go outside and have a breath of fresh air and then come back.

That did the trick. I was able to keep my thought prosess calm and realistic. And at the same time giving myself a way out without actually running away from the anxiety.

I didn’t have a panic attack. The anxiety went away and I was able to complete shopping. 



Shopping me Softly – Grey, Yellow & Turquoise Decor for Home

(Previous Shopping Me Softly post.)

I have never really been interested in home decor before now. When I moved out of my childhood home when i was 21, I had the money to buy the essential stuff like furniture and kitchen utensils.

Then I started university. I didn’t work alongside school because of anxiety (I hardly was able to go through school) so I didn’t have the extra money (or energy really) to concentrate on home decor.

Now I’ve been working as a kindergarten teacher for two years (this is my third year). I’m able to save a bit of money despite starting to pay off my student debt.

As my life becomes a bit more stable (financially and mentally) I find myself interested in shopping and home decor:

  1. I now have the energy to focus outside myself (aka my flat).
  2. I can finally shop without feeling quilty since I’m making my own money.

Disclaimer: I’m actually very careful with money and spending. Always been. Since I was a kid. I think I get it from my Dad.

I’m rambling. Let’s get to the point!

In September I visited Kodin 1, a lovely department store that focuses mainly on home decor. And here’s what I got:

A tin container for tea! The colours fit right in to my kitchen.
Coasters! I have never in my life used coasters. Actually I’ve found them quite pointless. These were just too cute not to buy. Ok and they were cheap.
This tiny little plate is for your teabag. It is seriously small, just 9,5 centimeters (3,7 inches) wide.
A little print that just hit home. Anxiety-wise and colour-wise. Love.
This is my favourite purchase! Wooden squares which tell the date. I spotted them right away but left them thinking I would never keep them up to date. So what’s the point. But I kept going back to them. And I’m happy to tell you that I actually do keep them up to date and really use them when I need to tell the date. (They’re placed on a shelf above my desk.)


Shopping me Softly – Tarjoustalo

I’ve just now started to enjoy shopping again. (When I was a student and my anxiety was really bad, I practically had no money and didn’t really shop anything for years.) It took surprisingly long after graduating and getting a job and getting a regular paycheck to get to that mindset that I actually can buy some things now.

Anyway, I went to Tarjoustalo with my Mom last week. (Tarjoustalo translates to Bargain House which actually sounds pretty good in English. It’s kind of Finland’s version of Primark. Or a smaller scale Walmart.)

2 sofa pillows, a t-shirt, calendar, 2 hair brushes and rechargeable batteries
I was in a serious need of a new hairbrush. (I’ve had my old one for like over a decade. Yikes.) This one felt nice (that sounds weird..). Got a smaller one for my handbag as well.
(I couldn’t get the camera to focus for the life of me.) This shirt feels so good!
Here’s a close-up. Very cute!
The new pillows make the little sofa look much more inviting. ♥